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Why Believe in Shmota

Because Only Shmota made the universe with a the BIG BANG as reported by SCIENCE
All other religions are steeped in GOBOLTYGOOP!

  1. ) Now Shmota was bored and spoke to Elucelom, " What shall I do today." And Elucelom answered, "Why not make a universe, because universes can be interesting and fun."

  2. )And so Shmota set about making a universe. First he made a creation box and filled it with the latest and the greatest stuff. Then he put some gravitational brewsky in it and turned the box on. The creation machine whirred and purred and a little bubble formed and went PooF!

  3. ) "What happened?", exclaimed Shmota to his mother (Elucelom). "You must have forgotten to add the Hiesenberry and the Shroeden Jelly." reminded Elucelom, thinking of some rather flat cakes she had made recently.

  4. ) So Shmota mixed in some Hiesenberry and the Shroeden Jelly into the gravitational stew and poured it into the box. The result was rather disapointing. All it did was bubble and fizz, not quite a particle and not a good wave either.

  5. ) "Drat", complained Shmota, "What I need is some of Gramma (Norticele's) Quarks. "For the Rock in your stomach feelin" he hummed.

  6. ) So now, ready for anything, Shmota threw the switch.

  7. ) The flash was intense has the little Universe went through the inflation stage, but it soon became apparent that something was wrong. All the little particles and anti-particles anihilated each other, leaving a hail of photons.

  8. ) "Where's the beef?", cried Shmota as he watched his creation dispate.

  9. ) "Perhaps it needs some intermediate vector Bosons." suggested Elucelom from the parlor. "And add some spontanious simmettry breakers.", she added.

  10. ) "I try one more time." exclaimed Shmota as he added these items to the brew. "And I'll throw in some Higgs Bosons for good measure.", he muttered.

  11. ) After stirring for a microsecond, Shmota threw the switch. "If this doesn't work I'll fix a snack and watch Godly Vision."

  12. ) Shmota watched aprehensively as the little universe expanded, inflated, and didn't disappear. "Those vector bosons really worked." he sighed. And tired after a good imaginary seconds work, he sat down with a drink and turned on the Godly Vision.

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